my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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