life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize