arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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