so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Say something about gay babies.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize