So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
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And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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