Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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