dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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