She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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