O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize