I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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