My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How's work?
Spinning.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize