His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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