my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
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Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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