There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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