We named our party play list daddy issues
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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