I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize