It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize