I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize