Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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