Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize