no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
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In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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