Even the bartender felt bad for me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize