I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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