I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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