Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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