I wish I could teleport
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
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He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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