Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My ass is underappreciated
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize