i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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