Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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