ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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