Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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