I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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