He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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