I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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