the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Be still, my beating vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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