Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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