he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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