Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize