New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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