Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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