Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We left an ass print on the piano.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize