Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize