Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize