I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize