its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize