i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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