Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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