Nicole vs. Life
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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