How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize