my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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